


World in Our Way

by TracyLorde



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Sort Of, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:05:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracyLorde/pseuds/TracyLorde
Summary: Clarke moves back to town with a little more baggage than she intended.





	1. Not My Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't think of a title so I owe this one to bellofthetolppl, thanks babe :)

For a moment, Bellamy thought he was hallucinating the petite blond standing in his cafe. He had heard from a few people that Clarke was moving back, but he still was shocked to see her standing there smiling at him, as if no time had passed. Her hair was shorter, and she looked a little more polished than he was used to, wearing shiny boots and a perfectly tailored trench coat, but underneath that she was the same girl he’d known for years, and seeing her again brought more than a few unresolved feelings to the surface.

Raven saw her just after he did and rushed across the cafe to lock her in a hug. Bellamy remained frozen in place until he realized Murphy was nudging him, trying to move by him with a large tray of muffins.

“Move, Blake,” Murphy grumbled, wiping the flour off his forehead with a clean towel. “Go talk to your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bellamy muttered, but he took off the apron he’d been wearing, asked Echo to cover bar, and stepped to the other side of the counter.

“Ex girlfriend, then,” Murphy called after him far too loudly. That wasn't correct, either, but Bellamy ignored him and walked over to meet Clarke.

“You look great!” Raven was saying, “I can’t believe you’re finally back, it’s been so long!”

“Three years,” Clarke nodded, and turned to Bellamy. “Hi, Bell.”

He wrapped her up in a hug before he had a chance to think twice. She was real, and she was standing right in from of him. She fit into his embrace like she always had: perfectly.

“I missed you, too,” she whispered into his ear, and he blushed but pulled her closer.

“So what’s been up with you, Clarke?” Raven asked, when they finally broke apart.

Clarke laughed awkwardly, pushing a stray lock of hair back into place. “Well, you know, I got offered a great job at St Joe’s, and I didn't really have anything keeping me in New York, so I decided to take the job here. I’m crashing with Wells until I find my own place because this was all pretty sudden.” Clarke cleared her throat. “Anyway, how are things with you both? I heard that you opened your own business last year…the place is beautiful! And lots of familiar faces.” Clarke waved to Emori and Echo, who were working behind the counter.

“Yeah, it’s been about two years since we drew up the business plans together,” Raven glanced up at Bellamy fondly. “Hard to believe it’s real some days, working for ourselves. It’s been hard, but we have fun.”

Bellamy chuckled. “We do. Raven does all the work: roasting the coffee and managing the finances with Monty, and I handle whatever’s left. We’ve got Murphy stuck in the kitchen baking all day, so I consider we've done the town a public service.”

Clarke laughed, but her eyes flickered between Bellamy and Raven as she tried to piece together what she’d missed in her time away. “So, are you two…?”

“Oh hell no!” Raven scoffed dramatically, causing Bellamy to roll his eyes. “Been there, done that, you know. No, we’re partners in business and friendship only.”

Bellamy wasn't sure, but he could have sworn he glimpsed relief flit across Clarke’s features.

“Anyway,” Raven continued, “What’s up with you romantically, these days? I always thought you’d be married with three kids by now.”

Clarke snorted. “Wow, no pressure or anything.”

“You know what I mean,” Raven continued earnestly. “You’re a catch, and I just thought if you ever moved back you’d have a fancy husband in tow.”

“I’m only twenty-eight, Raven,” Clarke laughed. “And I’ve been keeping it casual lately. You know how it is.”

“Sure, I’ve always kept it casual, but I still get laid.”

“Is it really necessary for me to be here for this conversation?” Bellamy interjected.

Raven chuckled. “Not really. What do you think, Clarke, you want to go grab a drink? I’m wrapping up for the day, I can meet you at the Dropship.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Clarke smiled. “You’re welcome to come too, Bellamy, if you want.”

“He’s got to close up the shop,” Raven filled in.

“She’s right,” Bellamy admitted. “We’ll catch up another time?”

“I’d like that,” Clarke replied, and her eyes meeting his with a sincere gaze.

Raven followed Bellamy back to the office to grab her bag.

“Try not to make me look too bad to Clarke,” Bellamy grumbled once they were alone.

“Relax, I’m totally going to wingman you,” Raven replied, pulling off her work shirt which emitted strong coffee odors, and slipping a jacket over the tank top underneath. “I saw the way you looked the minute she walked through those doors, it was like we flashed back to three years ago and you were head over heels again.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Bellamy protested.

“Oh, is it? So you don't want me to casually mention how extremely single you are right now, or how financially stable you are, or how—“

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Ok, ok. I maybe still have a little crush on her.”

Raven snorted. “Little, yeah. You can pretend all you want, Blake, but I see right through you.”

“Get out of here, Reyes.”

Raven playfully punched him in the shoulder, and left Bellamy alone with his thoughts. Thoughts that should have been focused on printing new menus and coordinating staff training, but instead drifted towards a certain blonde who he’d apparently never quite gotten over.

Raven texted him after drinks that night. Her message just said: _You’re up next, Blake._

—-

Clarke came by his coffeeshop nearly every day for the next few weeks. She ordered a triple americano, usually to go. Sometimes, if Bellamy had time, she’d sit and chat for a minute. She was enjoying her new job, and she missed her mom and Marcus in New York, but she was happy to among so many friends again. She looked happy, Bellamy thought, and he liked to think that maybe he’d contributed to that in some way.

Raven pestered him every now and again to ask her out formally, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it quite yet. He wanted to let her settle in, he explained, and get comfortable again. He wanted to let her know he was there, but not in that way just yet. This was Clarke Griffin, after all. If he was going to ask Clarke Griffin out, he was going to make sure he had the best chance of getting a positive response. Raven teased him, still, but he let her. There was no huge barrier in their way this time, like there always had been before: various boyfriends and girlfriends, her job in New York, the drama with his sister. Clarke was back, and he was here, and they would find their way to each other if it was meant to be. The thought made him nervous, but it also filled him with more excitement than he’d felt in a long time.

It was mid July when he realized he hadn't seen Clarke in a few days. He probably had just been busy or out on an errand when she stopped by, he thought. But the next time she stopped by the cafe, he was sure something was wrong.

She looked tired and preoccupied, though she tried to return his smile. It was 6:00am, so the tired part wasn't too out of the ordinary, but the lines on her face worried him. It was just Bellamy and Jasper working so early, and Jasper for some reason ducked into the back to unnecessarily restock the scones as soon as he'd greeted Clarke.

“Hey,” Bellamy asked, “you want the usual?”

Clarke made an odd face. “Not today, I don't think. Do you have any…herbal tea, maybe?”

“Sure…Camomile, Ginger, or Mint.”

“Ginger sounds great,” Clarke sighed.

“Rough night?” Bellamy asked, as he prepared the tea. The cafe was completely empty so early on a Tuesday morning, and he hoped they’d have a moment to catch up.

“Something like that.” Clarke murmured, then drew herself up and put on a positive face. “Anyway, how have you been? I haven't seen you in a few days.” They’d moved their conversation down to the end of the counter, Bellamy on the other side as he polished some glassware.

"I’ve been alright. Nothing out of the ordinary. You doing ok?” His eyes searched Clarke’s face for some indication of her emotional state.

Clarke shook her head almost imperceptibly. “Fine, yeah.”

“Very convincing,” Bellamy replied with gentle sarcasm.

Clarke smiled slightly, eyes still locked on her cup of tea.

“Well, if you ever want to talk about it,” Bellamy offered, “I’m here. We don't have to talk here, either. Despite popular opinion, I do have a life outside of work.”

Clarke smiled brighter this time. “Alright, I’d like that.”

“I’m free tonight,” he offered, “Not to be pushy, but it seems like you could use a friend right now.”

“You’re not wrong,” Clarke agreed. “Alright, I get off work at six.”

“Perfect. Meet me at my place, I’ll cook you dinner.”

Clarke looked taken off guard, but pleased.

“Unless,” he hastily continued, “You’d rather go out somewhere.”

“No, your place sounds great,” Clarke replied. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Jasper!” She waved and Bellamy turned to see Jasper lurking in the kitchen pass, grinning. He frowned, and when he turned back Clarke was already on her way out the door.

—

“You’re in a weird mood,” Raven commented abruptly to Bellamy in the middle of a meeting that afternoon. They were sitting upstairs in the roasting area with Monty, who as an investor in the business was privy to all the financial details. Monty was, fortunately, used to these meetings being derailed by some bickering or other.

“I’m not in a weird mood,” Bellamy argued mildly, “I’m just tired.”

“Jasper said he saw you and Clarke having a very serious conversation this morning.” Monty interjected.

“We were not,” Bellamy protested, but he saw Raven narrow her eyes at him.

“You still haven't asked her out yet, have you? I did all the work for you, you can’t just pull the trigger?”

“Raven, as usual, makes a great point,” Monty added, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Can we please talk about something other than my love life?” Bellamy moaned a little desperately, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “Anyway,” he continued in a lower voice, “I kind of have a date with her tonight.”

“Ooooooh,” Raven teased. “A date, you say? So you did ask her out!”

“Kind of a date?” Monty asked.

“Yeah, she’s coming over for dinner tonight.”

“Well done, Blake!” Raven raised her coffee mug. “About fucking time.”

“She’t not wrong,” Monty continued. “You two have been pining after each other longer than Nate and I have even known each other, and we’ve been dating for four years.”

“Yes, you’re very impressive, congratulations,” Bellamy snarked.

Monty grinned, “Alright, I think we've given him enough of a hard time for today. Let’s pick back up where we left off on the agenda.”

“And we can pick up giving Blake a hard time tomorrow,” Raven chimed in, “after his date.”

—-

Bellamy went grocery shopping right after work, and spent far too long picking out a nice bottle of wine.

He had enough time to tidy up the apartment—not that it was ever very untidy. Bellamy had lived alone since Octavia moved away, which had cut his work by more than half. Now he used her old bedroom as his library. He tidied up in there as well, and as he thought Clarke might like to see it he left the door open.

She arrived that evening looking even more tired then before, but genuinely happy to see him. She gave him a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. She followed him into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while he prepared a plate for each of them.

“When did you become a world class chef?” she teased.

“Working with Murphy has, oddly, made me appreciate the culinary arts more than I did before.”

“I’ll be sure never to tell him that.”

“Please don’t.” Bellamy pulled the bottle of wine from the fridge. “You like Sauvignon Blanc?”

Clarke froze for a moment. “I do, yeah, but I’m actually not drinking right now.”

“Oh, ok.” Bellamy tried not to register surprise on his face, and replaced the wine.

“You can have some,” Clarke continued awkwardly. “I just can’t.”

“No, that’s fine, I don't want to drink around you if its a problem.”

“It’s not that, Bell…”

He was horrified to discover that her eyes were filing with tears. “Holy shit, Clarke, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!” He stood locked in place, not sure what he’d done but berating himself for doing it.

“It’s fine, it’s just…” Clarke ran a hand over her forehead, eyes still glistening. “I was going to wait at least until after dinner to say anything, but…I’m pregnant.”

Bellamy’s heart seemed to be beating in his throat. He found his way to his chair across from Clarke and slouched into it, eyes never leaving her face. “I…congratulations?”

Clarke sniffled, but smiled weakly. “Yeah, I didn't really know what to say when I found out either. I’m still in shock.”

“Are you…ok? I didn't know you were seeing anyone…”

“I’m not, is the thing. I wasn’t, haven't in a while. I did a really dumb thing a few months ago, before I moved back, and hooked up with an ex…it was a really bad decision, and now…I’m pregnant.” She said the word as if she didn't really believe it still.

Bellamy’s mind flashed to one of Clarke’s exes, who also happened to be one of his least favorite people, and she answered his question before he’d asked it.

“It was Finn. I was in a bad place, and I really needed to feel something, and it was my last week in New York, and somehow he was there, and I didn't talk myself out of it. I’m such a fucking asshole.”

“Hey, no you’re not. We've all done that.” He paused, but was unable to stop himself from asking, “Does Raven know?”

“She knows I hooked up with him, yeah, but she doesn't know about the worst part. I don't know how to tell her.”

“Clarke, its alright. Whatever you decide, Raven will support you, just like I will. She’s moved on quite a lot since that whole mess….sorry, not to make you feel worse.” He knew Raven cared far more for Clarke them she ever had for Finn, despite the revelation early in their relationship that Finn had been cheating on her with Clarke. They’d all come a long way since those days.

“It’s fine,” Clarke sighed. “I guess this is what I deserve for sleeping with an ex who was a total piece of shit to both me and one of my best friends.”

Bellamy reached for her hand across the table. “Stop it, Clarke. Don't be so hard on yourself. It’s going to be alright.”

Clarke smiled tearfully. “Thanks. Sorry I ruined your dinner. This was really nice, Bellamy.”

“You didn't ruin anything,” he replied sincerely. “But you really should eat.”

“Yeah, ok. It does smell really good.”

“Good.” Bellamy chuckled and released her hand. “I did think it was weird that you ordered herbal tea today.”

Clarke groaned. “This pregnancy thing been _awful_ so far, let me tell you! I haven't even known for a week and my life is already turned upside down and inside out.”

Bellamy eyed her casually as he finally took a bite of his own dinner. “Is this something that you wanted? Kids, I mean?”

“Yeah, it was. Is. Just not with Finn, of all people.”

“You haven't told him yet, I take it?” Bellamy tried not to show it, but he bristled at the thought of Finn still having some claim to a part of Clarke’s life, a claim which he definitely did not deserve.

“Not yet. If I decide to keep it, I will, but only to do the right thing. I don't owe him any more than that,” she finished disdainfully.

“You definitely don't," Bellamy agreed, probably a little too vehemently. "Sorry...I just mean, it's fine if you want to do this, that you do it without him. You've got me, and Raven, and Monty, and your mom and Marcus-whatever you decide." He flushed slightly. "How…um, how far along are you?”

“A little over two months. I should have figured it out sooner, I'm a doctor after all for fuck’s sake.” She sighed and shook her head ruefully, then her eyes found his again with concern. “Sorry to push all of this on you all of a sudden. I just….I haven't told anyone yet, and I really needed someone to talk to, and you were always there for me…”

‘“I’m still here,” Bellamy reassured her.

They finished their dinner in mostly silence, just sharing glances now and again. Clarke seemed less worried, somehow, and Bellamy wasn't sure what else to say. After dinner, Clarke helped Bellamy wash up despite his protests.

“I can just leave it until the morning, you know.”

“You and I both know you absolutely cannot.”

He grinned, and gave in, letting her help him.

“Thanks for letting me vent to you, by the way. I guess I probably should have told Raven first, but I need to work up the courage,” Clarke said, as she dried the last dish.

“Raven will understand, whatever you end up deciding,” Bellamy said, taking the dish from her and placing it in the cabinet.

“I think I’ve already decided,” Clarke said softly.

Bellamy turned back to her quickly, the question on his lips. Clarke looked tearful again, but they were happy tears this time. She hovered a hand over her abdomen, and smiled. “I’m going to keep it. I want this, I just needed to hear that was alright from someone else...so thanks.”

Bellamy, though he was still stunned, pulled her into an embrace. “I’m really, really happy for you, Clarke.” He ran a comforting hand along her back. “You’re going to be the best parent.”

Clarke laughed, then sighed.

“You ok?” Bellamy asked.

“Yeah, I am now. I’ll talk to Raven tomorrow, then I’ll call my mom. I just needed to relax tonight. Thank you.”

Bellamy nodded, his arms still encircling her. She gazed up at him, almost bashful. “You still have that box set of The Power of Myth?”

“Of fucking course I do,” he grinned down at her. “You want to start educating this kid already?”

“It’s never too early,” she joked back.

Bellamy felt a twinge of jealousy as Clarke placed a hand on her stomach again, but suppressed it. “You sure you’re up for that right now?”

Clarke nodded.

“It’s on the bookshelf next to the tv. Get it started, and I’ll make the popcorn.”

Clarke chuckled. “You don't even like popcorn.”

“No, but you do. O left some here when she moved out, I’ve got it covered.”

Clarke made it halfway through Part 1, her legs draped over Bellamy’s from the other end of the couch, before she nodded off. He let the episode finish before he scooped her up and transferred her to his bed. She was so exhausted that she didn't even wake while he carried her, but when he’d tucked her in, she breathed, “Bell,” and it nearly stopped his heart from beating.

He went downstairs and crashed on the couch, exhausted but mind still running a million miles an hour.


	2. Not My Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good thing Bellamy only has a tiny little crush on Clarke...otherwise, things might get super awkward.

Clarke didn't wake until after 8:00 the next morning. Fortunately, Echo was opening the cafe so Bellamy could afford to go into work late. He waited nervously in the kitchen, going over financial proposals from the meeting yesterday without really absorbing any of the details. He was on his second pot of coffee when Clarke finally joined him.

Her hair was mussed and her clothes wrinkled, but she looked better rested than she had the day before. She blushed when she saw Bellamy.

“Hey, sorry to kick you out of your bed last night. I would have taken the couch.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Bellamy eyed her cautiously. “You feeling ok? You need breakfast or anything?”

Clarke wrinkled her nose. “Breakfast and I aren't exactly on speaking terms right now.” 

Bellamy frowned.

“Relax, Bell,” Clarke chided him. “Food aversion is perfectly normal during the first trimester.” She raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m a doctor, remember?”

“Everyone knows that doctors make the worst patients,” he quipped.

“Rude.”

“That’s what you say when you know I’m right.”

Clarke grinned. “Not this time. I'm fine, I need to get going anyway.” She furrowed her brow as she looked at him. “Aren't you late for work?”

“Nope, they’ve got it covered for now. You have work today?”

“I’m off until Friday. Wells and I are having lunch, and I’m planning on seeing Raven just after.”

“Good, that’s good. You’ll feel better when you tell her.”

“I sure hope so,” Clarke sighed. “I want to feel purely happy about this when I call my mom, otherwise she’ll drive over and try to set things straight.”

Bellamy chuckled as he imagined Abby Griffin doing just that.

“Anyway, Bell, thanks again for last night,” Clarke took a step towards him, and his heart skipped a beat. “You really are too good to me, and I don't deserve it after dropping out of your life the past few years.”

Bellamy shook his head as he brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Clarke, that’s ridiculous. We were both busy, and you were in a different city…that happens. It’s fine. You’ve always been important to be and you always will be.”

Clarke wrapped him in a hug, and he leaned into her.

“You’ll always be important to me too, Bell.” She pulled back after a moment, smiling gently. “Well, I should let you get back to your regular schedule.”

“Talk soon?” Bellamy asked, shoving his hands awkwardly in his pockets.

“Of course.”

“Alright. Good luck with Raven…not that you’ll need it.”

Clarke smirked. “I hope I don’t, but I’ll take it anyway.”

—-

Bellamy headed to the cafe to help out during the lunch rush, then moved upstairs to the roasting area to get some work done. He preferred the open space upstairs to the cramped office by the kitchen, since he could use an entire folding table and really spread out. He liked working upstairs better when Raven was running the roasters, the dull noise pushing any unwelcome thoughts to the background, but he knew where Raven was supposed to be.

Monty stopped by around 1:00 for a coffee, and wandered upstairs to find Bellamy ostensibly absorbed in plans for a branded disposable cup. He was honestly having trouble thinking about anything but Clarke at the moment, so he attempted to throw himself into a project that he’d been putting off for months.

Monty took a seat at the other side of the table and peered across at Bellamy’s papers. “Are those the two logos you’re debating between? I like that one, personally.”

“It’s fine,” Bellamy mused, “but it’s not quite there yet.”

Monty took a sip of his coffee and almost spit it out as he remembered to ask, “Hey, how did your date with Clarke go last night?”

“It went…fine.” Bellamy shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “It wasn't really a date, Monty.”

“I thought it was a date,” Monty frowned. “Didn't you ask her out?”

“Well, I did, but—“

“So how was your date?”

“It wasn't a date. I mean--Clarke’s pregnant.”

Monty raised his eyebrows. “Well, that was fast.”

“Goddamit, Monty, this is serious,” Bellamy growled. 

“So, Clarke is actually pregnant. Holy shit.”

“Yeah, she is, but you can't tell anyone…I really shouldn't have said anything.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah.”

“So…you two definitely aren’t dating?”

“Not really great timing, Monty.”

“Just confirming something for the betting pool,” Monty quipped, “Don’t worry about it. Seriously though, are you ok?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“And…you’re not the father?”

“We haven't slept together, Monty!”

“So who is the father?”

“An ex.”

Monty’s eyes widened as he realized, “It’s not Finn, is it?”

“I’ll let Clarke fill you in herself,” Bellamy grunted, and Monty left it there.

—-

“So…Clarke told you already, right?” Raven stopped by the cafe a few hours later to catch up, and in classic Raven fashion wasn't going to beat around the bush.

“Yeah, she told me last night,” Bellamy’s eyes were fixed on hers. “How are you doing with all this?”

“I’m going to fucking murder Finn,” Raven seethed.

Bellamy frowned. That seemed a little harsh, but sure, if Raven was going to kill Finn, he’d find a way to help her.

“She called him when I was there,” Raven explained. “She had trouble getting up the nerve, so I wanted to help. Anyway,” she paced back and forth across the floor of the roasting area, “He said she must have poked a hole in the condom or some shit, like she wanted to entrap him into paying child support--as if he's some kind of celebrity or something!”

“For that shitty one hit wonder of an ethics book?” Bellamy interjected angrily. He was dropping the facade that he hadn't been following Finn’s career with an interest fueled by loathing. “He’s got to be fucking joking…no self respecting academic would be caught dead near that book. It’s only popular with morning talk show hosts—” He wasn't going to openly admit he’d hate read the book…but he had. He’d thought it was awful _before_ the author had knocked up his friend and refused to take responsibility.

“Yeah, exactly. Then he said she couldn't be sure it was his, and hung up.”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!”

“He did!” Raven spat. “I almost drove to fucking LA or wherever the fuck he lives now to end him, but Clarke held me back.”

“What kind of asshole talks to the mother of his child that way?”

“The Finn kind.”

“How did she take it?” Bellamy winced. “That can’t have been an easy conversation.”

“She was amazing, she's Clarke. I honestly don't know how she's not terrified to do this, if it were me—anyway, that doesn't matter. She's going to be ok. She was a little shaken up, but it’s better now that he knows but he’s out of the picture. And now she get move forward without him.” Raven took a seat opposite Bellamy. “She’s excited, Bell. She actually seems happy. It’s weird, but she’s doing fine. She's going to be a great mom.”

Bellamy nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I told her.”

“What else did you tell her?” Raven asked curiously. “She just mentioned you were really supportive, is all.”

“Nothing, just that you and I and everyone else were all here for her. And fuck Finn, basically.”

Raven chuckled. “Seconded. Anyway, you still in love with her?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?” Bellamy muttered.

“Nope. That’s a yes, then. Well, you've got time to make your play now. I think she’s going to be out of the dating scene for a bit.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, and Raven just laughed.

—-

_C: What are you doing tonight?_

_B: Nothing special. You want to hang out?_

_C: Yes. Come over to Wells’ place at 7._

_B: Anything I should bring?_

_C: Just your appetite. I’m paying you back for dinner the other night._

_B: Ha. I can do that._

—

Bellamy couldn't deny he was slightly nervous about seeing Wells again. The two hadn't run into each other since Clarke moved away, since their relationship with her was one of the only things they had in common. He and Wells had gotten off to a rough start, never much caring for each other when they'd first met in high school. The tension had reached breaking point one night when Clarke had dared Bellamy to a drinking game, against Wells’ advice, and of course he’d accepted. The party ended with a very drunk and sick Clarke, a nervous and apologetic Bellamy, and an angry Wells. But Wells saw how sorry Bellamy was for how things turned out, taking full responsibility for the situation despite the fact that Clarke was the one who had escalated it. Though Wells was wary of Bellamy thereafter, he was content to judge from a distance, and didn't interfere with the friendship that Bellamy and Clarke developed.

Bellamy had been half expecting to see Wells when he knocked on the door, so he was pleasantly surprised that it was Clarke who greeted him, wearing a ridiculously cheerful smile and a bright red apron. Bellamy followed her into the kitchen, noticing about forty books on pregnancy and parenting book scattered around the living room.

“Wow, you must have checked out half the library,” he joked.

“You can never be too thorough," Clarke smiled back, "And you’re one to talk, I’ve seen your library.”

Bellamy smirked. “So, I assume Wells knows, then…you’re staying here with him just temporarily?”

“Yeah, it was really nice of him to offer—right now, it’s one less thing to think about. He and Lincoln rent the place together, actually. They’re playing basketball right now, but they should be back soon.”

Bellamy relaxed a little more. He had always liked Lincoln best of Clarke’s friends. He leaned his hip against the counter and watched Clarke as she got to work, pulling assorted grocery items out of a set of reusable grocery bags on the counter.

“You sure you don't need any help?”

“Nope, I'm all set. I stopped by the Italian market and got fresh pasta and scratch marinara sauce, so it’s going to give the illusion that I know what I’m doing.” She was attempting to grab a stock pot from the upper cabinet, standing on her tiptoes with fingers outstretched.

Bellamy chuckled as he grabbed the item just out of reach for her. “I think you just ruined that illusion.”

Clarke shrugged. “Whatever. The important thing is, I have been craving carbs and tomatoes nonstop this week, so I found a way to beat that.”

“You’re going to turn your cravings into a competition?” Bellamy teased.

“Yes, and you’re going to benefit from this, so pipe down.”

“Fair enough.” Bellamy watched Clarke set the pasta water boiling, then proceeded with caution. “So…I talked to Raven after you did. She said you called Finn while she was there.”

Clarke’s face darkened momentarily, then cleared. “Yup. He acted like the asshole we all know he was, and that’s that. I’m moving on, and doing this without him like I planned.”

“If he had responded differently, would you have wanted him around?” Bellamy couldn't help himself from asking.

“No,” Clarke replied definitively, snapping a carrot in half as she spoke. “I wouldn’t.”

“Ok,” Bellamy replied gently. “Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” Clarke met his eyes with a defiant look. “Please don't apologize, you've been perfect, and I’m sorry I walked back into your life with this whole mess I’m in. Raven’s too.”

“Stop it, Clarke,” he warned gently. “I—we, Raven and I both, care about you. We’re glad you’re back.”

Clarke’s mouth pulled to the side in the slightest of smiles, but her eyes were full of understanding. “Ok.”

At that moment, the front door slammed open and Bellamy heard booming male laughter filter in. Wells and Lincoln entered the kitchen moments later.

“Blake! Good to see you.” Lincoln greeted him enthusiastically with a shoulder clap. “How've you been?”

“Good, man.” Bellamy raised a hand in greeting to Wells, who was grabbing a beer from the fridge. Wells tipped his chin up in acknowledgment.

Lincoln was peeking over Clarke’s shoulder at the stovetop. “So, when’s dinner ready?”

Clarke shoved him playfully. “You know better than to ask that.”

“True.” Lincoln looked back at Bellamy as he reached into the fridge. “When it’s Clarke’s night to cook, it usually takes a few tries before she gives up and orders takeout.” He grabbed two beers from the fridge and tossed one of the cans to Bellamy.

“We can't all be world class chefs like you, Lincoln,” Wells chimed in, throwing an almost friendly look towards Bellamy. “When it’s my turn, I usually make scrambled eggs.”

“Bell’s a great cook,” Clarke mentioned, gesturing for Lincoln to hand her the salad spinner.

“I’ve learned a thing or two over the past few years,” Bellamy admitted.

“Nice,” said Lincoln. “Must be helpful with the ladies.”

Bellamy murmured an agreement as he took a sip of his beer, and noticed Wells watching him rather curiously.

“Bellamy knows, by the way,” Clarke mentioned, glancing up between Wells and Bellamy. “I told him the day before I told you both.”

“Please, I knew before you did,” Wells joked. “We work together, remember? And adult morning sick Clarke is very reminiscent of high school hungover Clarke.”

Clarke simpered. “Very funny.”

“It’s gonna be like our very own live sitcom!” Lincoln joked, “Two Men, a Doctor, and a Baby, or something.”

Clarke smirked. “It’s cute that you think I won’t want to move out at any point in the near future.”

“No need to worry about it, Clarke.” Wells reminded her. “Take your time finding the right place.”

“Thanks.” Clarke turned away from the stove to press an affectionate kiss to Wells’ forehead and grimaced. “Ugh, you need a shower.”

Wells laughed and made his way upstairs. “Dinner in half an hour?”

“Don’t count on it!” Clarke called after him.

“Hey, I stopped by your cafe the other day,” Lincoln turned to Bellamy. “It’s a great place, well done! You and Raven Reyes own it together, right?”

“Yeah, with Monty Green actually. Thanks, man.”

“I was hoping I could talk to you about using it as a gallery space sometime, maybe. Would you guys be open to that?”

“Yeah, of course!” Bellamy had forgotten Lincoln was an artist, but that was how he and Clarke bonded initially.

“Oh, Lincoln’s working on this really cool series right now, you’d love it!”

“I’ll let Clarke talk me up," Lincoln grinned, "I’m gonna go clean up before dinner.”

“So,” Bellamy asked, after Lincoln had gone, “When do you want to finish watching the Power of Myth?”

Clarke smiled, and offered him a taste of the pasta sauce. “Maybe we can make a routine of it Wednesday nights?”

Bellamy took the spoon from her. “Sounds good.”

—-

“I told my mom, by the way,” Clarke said later, when they were curled on the couch watching tv. Wells and Lincoln had gone out to meet a few friends after dinner, so it was just the two of them.

“You mom, huh? How’d it go?”

Clarke shrugged. “Really well, actually. She’s happy—worried too, but that’s just the doctor side of her. She keeps threatening to come visit, so I think I’m going to have to take a trip to DC soon…she doesn't have much time to get away these days, but I know she wants to see me.”

“Private practice still going well?”

Clarke smiled, and he hoped it was because he had remembered her mother’s new practice, which Clarke had mentioned offhand the other day. “Yeah, she's more successful than ever. Marcus has fully devoted himself to community development now. They’re going to take over the city.” She pulled the blanket a little closer around her. “How about you? Where’s O these days?”

Bellamy cleared his throat. “O is…I’m not exactly sure, honestly. We haven't talked much lately. She moved out almost a year ago, said she had to go try and find herself. She was in Nashville for a bit, then Seattle.” He pushed his sleeves up his forearms, desperately looking for something to do to relieve his own awkwardness. “I don't know what she's looking for, but she couldn't find it here.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed. “You two still talk, though?”

“Not often, but if I don't hear from her in a month, I give her a call. She usually picks up.”

“I’m sorry, Bell,” Clarke murmured. “I know that must be hard for you. You two used to be inseparable.”

“It’s probably for the best, in some way,” Bellamy admitted. “I never let her make her own choices, when she was younger, and she got frustrated, and took that out on me…maybe when—if—she moves back, we’ll get along better.”

“You’re a great brother, Bellamy," Clarke said gently. "Anyone who’s known you for five minutes knows how much you care about Octavia. You only ever tried to protect her. One day, she’ll recognize that.”

Bellamy tried to reply, but the words caught in his throat and he just shook his head. Clarke didn't say anything, just nestled closer to him on the couch. He reached an arm over her and pulled her to him. Words were extraneous at this point.

Bellamy tore himself away an hour later when Clarke started to doze off, insisting that she get some sleep. She was too tired to protest.

—-

It was a few weeks later when Bellamy first realized exactly how bad he had it for Clarke Griffin. They’d been hanging out on a weekly basis, but he'd worked very hard to suppress any non-platonic feelings that might spring up occasionally. The timing just wasn't right. Bellamy knew that.

Raven teased him constantly about his crush, and he let her because there was no use in trying to stop Raven from doing anything. But he continued to tell himself even if he did feel that way sometimes, there was nothing he could do about it. Clarke was on her own path, and she was happy. She had a lot going on right now and it would be selfish for him to mess with that.

But then Clarke stopped by one morning when he was working in the cafe, and when she smiled at him he felt his heart stop. She looked more beautiful than ever, her blonde hair ruffled by the summer breeze, and her eyes alight with happiness. This wasn't just a crush, and Bellamy couldn't deny the reality any longer. He was in love with Clarke Griffin, and the only obstacle in their way was the fact that she was slightly pregnant with her ex boyfriend's baby.

Clarke was in her second trimester now, and just starting to show—Jasper, Murphy, and the others all knew about the pregnancy at this point, and joined Raven in referring to Clarke as “Bell’s Baby Mama.” Bellamy decided the gods were playing a cruel joke on him, bringing Clarke back into his life at the exact moment she was embarking on a journey he couldn't take part in. He quickly tried to wipe his mind of any such thoughts as she approached the counter. 

“Hey, Bell,” Clarke waved. “I’m here to meet someone for a coffee.”

“Oh, a date?” he asked casually, though he could feel the jealousy bubbling deep inside him.

“No, not at all,” Clarke laughed. “Wells and Lincoln are trying to rent out the basement, and I told them I’d help vet candidates since their history with picking tenants is abysmal--other than me, of course.”

“That's nice of you. Who is it?”

“Some guy named Roan? I don't know exactly. He contacted us through the Craigslist ad.”

“You’re going to let a stranger from Craigslist move into your house?” he asked, maybe a touch too intensely.

“It’s not my house,” Clarke corrected him, “And besides, he might be a perfectly nice person.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” Bellamy scoffed.

Clarke rolled her eyes good naturedly, and took a seat by the window to wait.

Bellamy lurked behind the coffee bar, taking inventory though it was the middle of the month.

“I’ll pretend I don't know your shift ended twenty minutes ago,” joked Jasper, who was the afternoon barista, “if you tell me why you’re stalking your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” muttered Bellamy, careful not to look in Clarke’s direction.

“Whatever you say, boss.”

Clarke’s mysterious contact arrived a few minutes later. He was a good deal more fit and attractive than Bellamy would have liked, as he glowered at him from afar. They seemed to hit it off almost instantly, Clarke laughing at some (no doubt inane) joke that the stranger told. Bellamy couldn't help himself from heading over to check in at a certain point, under the pretext of delivering Clarke another tea.

“Thanks, Bell,” Clarke said, and he wasn't sure if she was more annoyed or amused.

He blushed slightly, and nodded, then shifted his gaze to Clarke’s guest. The man had rugged features and bright eyes, and was looking curiously between them.

“This your boyfriend?” the man asked Clarke.

“No,” Clarke said—matter of factly and not unkind, but it still felt like a punch to the gut for Bellamy.

“Could have fooled me,” the man shrugged his shoulders.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back,” Clarke apologized, then her eyes snapped to Bellamy and she said. “You. Me. Let’s talk.”

Bellamy clenched his jaw, but followed her as she stalked towards his office. He closed the door gingerly behind them, and turned towards Clarke sheepishly.

She had her arms crossed over her chest, but her eyes seemed a little softer than he expected.

“You done?”

“Done with what?”

“Hovering?”

“Clarke, I work here,” he reminded her.

“Skulking behind the counter is not working, last time I checked.”

“It’s my cafe,” he protested weakly.

“Why are you being so stubborn?”

“Because I care about you, alright? You’re important to me and I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Bellamy, I am sitting in a public place with a person who seems perfectly nice!”

“Sure, he seems nice—“

“He’s being a whole lot nicer than you are, right now.”

Bellamy pursed his lips. “Fine. You’re right. I mean, he might turn out to be a Craigslist killer, but—“

Clarke laughed. “You need to relax. Go home and take a nap. I’ll meet you there later.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows in question.

“It’s Wednesday, remember?” She placed a hand on her barely visible bump. “Education night.”

A grin overtook his whole face. “Yeah, alright.” He paused, his face falling slightly. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I don’t know what got into me.”

“Me neither. I’m the one who’s supposed to have the crazy hormone issues right now.” She was joking, but it looked as if some concern was hiding in her eyes.

He laughed to diffuse the awkwardness. She kissed him on the cheek, and left him standing alone in his office, wishing he could say what he wanted to say.

—

Clarke arrived with Chinese takeout at the usual time. They settled in to watch the last episode together. Clarke actually managed to stay awake the entire time for once, which Bellamy almost regretted. He liked it when she curled into him and rested her head on his chest, and he could put an arm round her, maybe even rest his head on hers. He wondered if she was feeling awkward about their previous conversation, but she didn't mention it, and every time her bright eyes met his, he felt sure that she had forgotten what an idiot he had been.

He was trying to work up the nerve to tell her how he felt the entire episode, but when the episode finished he felt tongue tied. He wasn't even sure what to say…he kept playing scenarios over and over in his mind, but no words came to him. Clarke seemed to have something on her mind as well. After sitting in silence for a few minutes while the credits rolled, she checked her phone.

“It’s late, I should probably get going.”

Bellamy nodded, his mouth going dry. Clarke untangled herself from their shared blanket, and went to the kitchen to grab her purse and jacket. He followed, a few steps behind. She turned back, and it was as if something had changed. She was looking at him, biting her lip, like she wanted to say something but was holding herself back.

He took a step closer, and helped her into her jacket, one of his hands brushing against her cheek as he did so. She turned and was standing a few inches from him now, looking up at him with wide eyes. He laced his fingers through her hair, and dared to kiss her softly on the mouth. Clarke reciprocated immediately, grabbing the front of his shirt with both hands, and gasping slightly as she pressed her open mouth to his. His hands were on her hips now, and he realized she had pressed him up against the kitchen counter.

It the sweetest moment of his life, and then suddenly it was over. Clarke pulled back, her face contorted as if in pain.

“Clarke…” his voice broke slightly. “What’s wrong?" He reached for her, but stopped. He knew.

“Bellamy, I can’t…I can't do this to you.” Her eyes were shimmering.

He clenched his jaw. “Clarke, I know it’s not my kid, but that doesn't have to mean anything. I don't care about that. I want to be with you, I want to be there for you both.”

“It’s just not fair,” Clarke continued, steadying her voice. “That’s too much to ask of you.”

He wanted to scream, to cry out that it wasn't, that he wanted all of it…“Clarke.”

She flushed at the way he said her name.

“Clarke, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

She bit her lip, sighing deeply. “Now, you can’t, but things might change. You might decide you don't want all of this.” She avoided his gaze as she zipped up her jacket, but he could see her eyes had again filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I think I’m going to go to DC for a few days and get some distance.” She looked at him one last time before turning away. “You have no idea how hard this is for me, but I can’t put you in that position.”

The front door closed softly behind her. Bellamy was frozen where she'd left him, hands clenched, heart reeling.

—-

The next few days were miserable for Bellamy. Raven and Monty had either put two and two together or Clarke had told them what had happened, because they were exceptionally considerate. Raven didn't tease him once about anything. Bellamy almost wished she would. It would have felt less strange, made him feel less empty. He stayed too late at work, hunched over spreadsheets in the office, and only went home to sleep. He thought about texting Clarke countless times, but always talked himself out of it. She walked away. She didn't want to be with him. He had to accept that. 

A week later, Wednesday night, Bellamy was just getting ready to go to bed when he heard a knock on the door. Thinking it must have been the books he’d ordered, he went to the door and opened it, prepared to sign for a delivery.

He paused in the doorway, completely taken off guard. It was Clarke.

“I can't stop thinking about you, either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be longer than I intended, which is a surprise to only me. Thanks for reading!


	3. Not Taking It Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Bellamy's not the only one with a crush. Question is, can they make it work?

“Did you mean it?” Clarke asked.

Bellamy was too stunned to reply. After their previous encounter, Clarke on his doorstep was the last thing he had expected.

“Did you mean it?” she repeated, almost aggressively. “Did you mean what you said about not caring it’s not your kid, about wanting to be with me anyway?”

“Yes,” Bellamy stammered, “Yes, of course I meant it, Clarke.”

Clarke sighed deeply, looking as if she were about to cry. “Ok…can I come in?”

Speechless again, he stepped back from the doorway and welcomed her in with a gesture.

She didn't seem any more at ease inside his apartment, her fists clenched and face drawn in a tight expression. Bellamy watched her with concern, unsure why she was there or what he was meant to say or do.

“Do you want to sit down?” he offered.

Clarke nodded and sat down abruptly on the couch, hands clasped over her knees. “I don't know how to do this,” she admitted, looking up at him with wide, serious eyes.

Bellamy sat down on the coffee table opposite her. “Do what, exactly?” he asked, not wanting to hazard a guess lest he jinxed it.

Clarke cracked a shy smile. “Be with you.”

Bellamy’s heart leapt in his chest, and he was perfectly still for a moment, unsure if he was understanding her correctly.

“I want to be with you, Bell,” Clarke continued earnestly. “I really do. I know the timing is bad, and the situation is awkward, but I should have just admitted the way I felt a long time ago. I don't want to lose you this time.”

Bellamy hadn't known she’d felt that way for so long, too. He thought over every time before he'd had the chance to say something, and hadn’t. He had the opportunity to start making up for it now.

Reaching forward, he took each of her hands in his. Clarke took a deep breath as she looked at him.

“Are we crazy?” she asked.

Bellamy chuckled. “We might be. I don't know. But I’m glad you’re here.”

Clarke smiled widely. “So am I. So how are we going to do this?”

Bellamy grinned. “Do you need a game plan every time you begin a relationship, Clarke?”

“Only when I’m pregnant with another person’s kid,” she replied sarcastically.

“Fair enough,” he laughed gently. “Well, I want you to know I'm here for you, but I don't want to pressure you into labelling this anything that it isn’t. I mean, I’ll admit it's an odd situation.”

“Understatement of the year,” Clarke said dryly. “Alright, how about this: we just take it slow, and see what happens? I don't want to pressure you either, and if you decide this isn't what you want, you shouldn't be obligated to stay with me just because of the kid.”

“That’s not going to happen—“

“You can’t say that, Bell,” Clarke said softly. “Please, just…let’s take it easy for right now. We can keep hanging out, and see where it goes. It might be weird, and complicated, and I want to do this, but I can't commit to more than that right now. And neither can you. Alright?” Her eyes searched his face, and he had no recourse but to agree with her.

“Alright,” Bellamy replied gently, “We’ll take it slow.”

“Alright.” Clarke had a relieved smile on her face. Bellamy felt relieved too. It was something.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Bellamy muttered, squeezing her hands.

“I’m really glad I’m here, too,”Clarke sighed and leaned back into the couch. Bellamy, still holding her hands in his, moved to sit next to her, wrapping an arm round her. Clarke snuggled into his chest, and he stroked her hair gently.

“What made you change your mind?”

“I was talking with my mom about everything, and she said I seemed like I wasn't really happy, like I was holding something back. And I realized it was you…seeing you again made me realize how much I missed you, and how lucky I was you felt the same way.”

“I’ve had a crush on you for years now,” Bellamy confessed. “I had no idea I’d ever get the chance to tell you, though.”

“Really?” Clarke looked up at him, a wide smile on her face. “How long have you had a crush on me?”

Bellamy chuckled. “I don’t know…since high school, senior year, probably. I didn't think I’d actually have a shot with you, though.”

“Why not? I always wondered if you did…”

“I don’t know…the timing was always pretty bad, you have to admit.”

“You know…there was a moment, right before I moved away, that I thought you were going to make a move.”

“I wanted to…I really did. But I chickened out, and then you went to college and dated other people and I figured that was my last shot.”

“Things have changed a lot since then…”

“Good change?” Bellamy asked, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Clarke smiled. “Yeah, I think so. I’m content right now. And you seem content too.”

“You have no idea,” Bellamy murmured.

“I should probably get going,” Clarke whispered, after a few minutes silence.

Bellamy moaned in protest. She laughed appreciatively, and sighed when she sat up, tearing herself away with no pleasure.

“I’m sorry, but I have to work early, and if I fall asleep here again that doesn’t bode well for us taking it slow, does it?”

Bellamy smiled. “You’re right, I know, but do you have to be so convincing?”

“Can’t help it,” Clarke replied, leaning forward to give him a peck on the cheek, then hopping up from the couch before he had time to recover. “How about lunch tomorrow? I get off work at 2:00.”

Bellamy grinned. “Alright. Lunch tomorrow.”

“It’s a date.”

—

“I know you’re probably still not interested,” Monty said, leaning back in his chair, “But Indra made a third offer to finance us franchising the business. She may not make another if we turn this one down.”

“It’s a great offer,” Raven chimed in. “Best she’d made so far, by quite a good margin. And she says she has several interested parties as well. I think we should at least consider it.”

Bellamy glanced from Raven to Monty and back again. It was clear that the two of them had discussed this in preparation for talking with him. He had been the only one to object to Indra’s previous two offers, not sure he wanted to put the brand they’d worked so hard on up for sale. That had been before, though. This was now. Clarke was a part of his life now. He wanted it to stay that way. And this payout could go a long way in setting up their future, if they were going to have one.

“I agree,” Bellamy replied, “I think we should seriously consider it.”

Raven cocked her head. “That’s….not what I expected you to say.”

“What changed your mind?” Monty asked shrewdly, crossing his arms.

Bellamy shrugged. “Nothing. She wore me down. That was the goal, right? And now we have a better offer on the table. It’s a win-win.”

Raven narrowed her eyes. “Ok. Sure. I’ve had a lawyer recommended to me, I’ll give them a call and put them in touch with Indra’s people.”

A knock on the door to the loft drew their attention elsewhere. It was Jasper, wearing a shit eating grin on his face.

“Hey, boss, other boss, and kind of boss. Clarke’s here for you, Bellamy.”

Bellamy checked his watch. “Shit, I didn't realize it was this late already. Ok, I’ll be right down.”

Jasper disappeared and Bellamy began to gather his things.

“So….Clarke…” Monty began cautiously.

“It’s because of Clarke. You’re considering the offer because of Clarke.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes at Raven. “Not true.”

“Mhmmm. Sure. So what’s the deal, you two a thing now?”

Bellamy did his best to conceal a smile and failed. “Yeah, kind of…”

“Holy shit!”

“Called it!” Raven yelled.

“Yeah, ok, ok. We’re taking it slow, so do your best not to fuck it up, ok?”

“Back at you,” Raven snorted.

“How exactly does one take things slow with a pregnant person?” Monty mused.

“I’m leaving now,” Bellamy called over his shoulder. “Get this all out now, I’m sure the staff is going to be gossiping enough as it is.”

He met Clarke at the bottom of the stairs. She grinned up at him.

“Hey, you look happy.”

Bellamy just smiled and kissed her quickly on the cheek while they were still hidden from view.

“Happy looks good on you.” She took his hand they made their way out of the shop, ignoring Jasper’s quiet cheers from behind the espresso bar.

—

It was the best time that Bellamy had ever known in his life, but taking it slow proved more difficult by the day. Clarke was so comfortable around him and they had already developed such an intimacy that Bellamy almost wondered what else sex could bring to the equation. Almost…

Clarke had begun to spend more and more time at Bellamy’s place. It was quieter and more comfortable for the two of them than Wells’ place. She had been pretty good about keeping her boundaries at first, and Bellamy knew to respect them, but she began staying over later and later, and leaving more and more of her belongings at his apartment, and he started to wonder if he was imagining things or if she was feeling like this was as serious as he was.

Lately, she took any chance to kiss him or just linger a hand on his shoulder, on his chest, on his knee. Clarke was a very physically affectionate person, which he’d always loved about her, but now that they were in this strange limbo relationship where he wasn't sure if or when he should ever make a move, it was torture for her to even ruffle his hair. To make matters worse, she continued to wear some of her pre-pregnancy shirts and her enlarged breasts were barely contained by the fabric— it was a lot to handle. He couldn't help but think she was deliberately trying to make things as difficult as possible for him.

Apparently, it was torture for Clarke too. They’d just finished watching a movie one night about a month into their relationship when she turned and asked point blank, “Are you ever going to fuck me?”

Bellamy’s jaw dropped. “Yeah, did you want me to? Or…”

“Of course I want you to!” Clarke huffed, crossing her arms. “I’m hormonal as fuck right now, and I’ve been trying to make a move on you all night, but you’re too adorably clueless to realize it….I’m getting nothing-” She gestured wildly, “Nothing from your end!”

Bellamy couldn't help but laugh. “Oh, so that’s what-“

“The kissing your ear and touching your arm and shoving my boobs in your face was about, yeah.”

Bellamy leaned over slowly. “So, is now a good time, or…”

He hadn't finished his attempt at a sentence before they were tangled up in each other. They left a trail of discarded clothing on the way to the bedroom. Bellamy barely had time to process how quickly things were moving, suddenly Clarke was standing before him wearing only her underwear. The curves of her breasts and hips made his head spin, and she grinned appreciatively. She pushed him back into the bed and hovered over him, pressing kisses to his mouth, his neck, his clavicle, then down his abdomen. He moaned in pleasure, but pulled her up to face him. Her bright blue eyes met his, and the spark of happiness in them was undeniable.

“You sure about this?” he joked softly, “Because this isn't exactly taking it slow—“

“Fuck what I said about taking it slow,” Clarke whispered as she nipped at his ear, “Fuck me. Bellamy, please. Fuck me.”

He rolled her over so that he was on top, hands grazing her breasts. He could feel the warmth pooling in her. Every inch, every curve, was so exciting, so perfect. He hardly knew where to begin, but she sensed his excitement and guided his hands as she kissed him deeply…

He lay there next to her, in awe of her. He couldn't keep his hands off her after they'd finished, he was running them over every inch of her body still. Clarke gazed up happily at him, and guided his hand to rest over her abdomen. The swell was just perceptible, a lovely exaggeration of her natural curves. Clarke laced her fingers through his, as she ran her other hand through his curls.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.

“You’re supposed to say that before you get the girl into bed,” she joked.

He didn't laugh, he was too wrapped up in the moment. His eyes never left hers, he couldn't believe she was real, she was here, in his bed, she wanted him too.

“You’re so beautiful,” he repeated, and kissed her forehead. Clarke cuddled into him, and murmured “Goodnight” into his collarbone. He pulled the sheets up around them, and held her close.

It was a few hours later that he awoke from a dead sleep to the sound of Clarke retching in the bathroom. He hurried there to see her leaning over the toilet, wearing one of his t-shirts. She gratefully accepted the water bottle he handed her, and sighed as he held her hair back for her.

“Just like high school all over again,” she joked weakly.

“You alright? You need some ginger ale or anything?”

“I’m fine,” she sighed. “By the way, morning sickness is a misnomer, in case you didn't know. And it doesn't always end after the first trimester. I’m one of the lucky ones.”

He slipped an arm round her, rubbing her back. When the heaving finally ceased, he pulled her into his lap and stroked her hair.

“You still want to deal with all of this?”

He snorted and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Yeah, I’m doing the real work here.”

He carried her back to bed, and she slept soundly for the next few hours until sunrise.

—

It was fortunate that Bellamy wasn't needed in the cafe the next morning, because he wouldn't have been able to tear himself from Clarke’s side. When he woke up he thought last night had all been a dream until he realized Clarke was still lying in his bed, curled into his side, wearing his shirt. He gently brushed the hair back from her forehead, content to rest awhile longer.

He opened his eyes again when Clarke began to stir. She squinted up at him, an odd grin on her face.

“Hey.” Her voice was husky, layered with happiness, surprise, and a slight shyness that he hadn't seen in her before.

“Hey,” he said back, and pulled her a little closer.

“Sorry about last night,” she yawned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Bellamy chuckled, “What part exactly are you apologizing for? Because I’m pretty sure you couldn't help any of that.”

Clarke snorted. “Wow, you got cocky real fast.”

“It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have built my confidence so fast.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” Clarke replied with mock solemnity, then raising herself up on her elbow, “What did you have planned for the day?”

Bellamy shrugged, running a hand lazily up and down her back. “Not much. I was going to try to stay away from work. What are you up to today?”

“I’ve actually got a sonogram appointment later,” she said a little sheepishly.

“That’s exciting.”

Clarke smiled. “Yeah, this is a big one. Finding out the sex.” She paused, trailing her fingers over his chest. “You wanna come?”

Bellamy’s heart threatened to burst. He smiled. “If you want me there, I'm there.”

Clarke kissed him gently. “I want you there.”

Bellamy hadn't been to St. Joe’s since the time Octavia had broken her arm in a soccer match back in high school, so it was strange to be returning under very different circumstances.

He had only ever experienced the scene in movies, of course. He watched the woman in scrubs putting the blue gel on Clarke’s bare stomach with a vaguely nagging sense that he shouldn’t be there. Clarke shivered slightly and reached for his hand. He relaxed.

“Hey, is it—“ Clarke began.

“It’s a girl,” the doctor answered, and Clarke smiled widely.

Bellamy smiled too, but seeing the blurry image of Clarke’s fetus on the screen gave him a weird, longing feeling in the pit of his stomach. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but feel jealous of Finn. He reminded himself that Clarke had chosen to be with him, not Finn, but still…it stung. If Finn had wanted to be involved, would she have chosen her baby’s father instead? Bellamy tried to shake these thoughts and refocused himself on Clarke. The light of happiness in her eyes made him feel like a jerk for ever thinking of anyone else.

—

The next month was a blur of meetings, late dinners, and missing Clarke every minute they weren't together. Indra wanted to move fast on the franchising, and she’d picked out a few spots that would work for new cafes. The lawyer they’d hired, a woman named Echo, was happy with the way things were going, which put Bellamy’s mind at ease. Raven and Monty were excited, and Bellamy was too. The payoff, if they could achieve it, would be worth it, but there was no denying that it would take a good deal of time and energy to reach it.

When Bellamy was home, all his focus was on Clarke. She was still working normal shifts, and he worried that she was overexerting herself given how exhausted she was when she wasn't working, but she reassured him that was perfectly normal and she was taking care of herself. He did his best to believe her, but also began to read the pregnancy and parenting books that she left at his place. No harm in doing a little research of his own.

By the time they’d been dating two months, Clarke had essentially moved in. She said she slept better at Bellamy’s, and he really didn't mind. He wanted to be near her as often as possible.

“I’m taking you out on Saturday,” Clarke said matter of factly over breakfast one morning.

Bellamy adjusted his glasses and smiled over at her over the dinner table. “Out where?”

“It’s a secret,” Clarke said mischievously. “I want to surprise you, but I want you to be properly dressed so I’m telling you now that you need to be wearing a suit at four o’clock. I’ve already cleared it with Raven, and she said they won’t need you all weekend.”

“Oh, well if I have Raven’s permission…”

“Shut up,” Clarke laughed. “You’ll like it, just wait and see.”

Saturday arrived and with it Clarke in a Lyft which was to take them on their adventure.

“You look amazing,” Bellamy said, quite honestly, as Clarke stepped out of the car. She was wearing a soft grey dress that looked perfect on her, and she’d done her hair and makeup in a way that made him feel a bit shabby standing next to her.

Clarke grinned up at him. “This is all just a ploy to get you in a suit. You look hot. Come on, let’s go.”

After a mysterious hour long car ride, they arrived at their destination. Clarke had gotten them tickets to the touring Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of Much Ado About Nothing, much to Bellamy’s surprise and delight.

The play was fantastic of course, and sitting next to Clarke on a real date was even better. She was usually too busy or tired to go out much, so this was a new experience for Bellamy. He was quite aware of how they looked—like they were a real couple. Strangers would assume the baby she was carrying was his. He didn't mind that, truth be told.

During the intermission they took a walk around the theatre. They had just passed the bar when Bellamy felt Clarke’s nails dig into his arm suddenly. His first thought was that something was wrong with the baby. He glanced down at her in alarm, but her eyes were locked on a person to his left. Bellamy found himself face to face with none other than Finn Collins, holding a rocks glass and wearing a look of pure shock on his face. If Bellamy hadn't been so worried for Clarke in that moment, he would have taken some pleasure in it.

“Clarke, I didn't think I’d see you here tonight,” Finn stammered, his eyes darting from Clarke’s face to her obviously pregnant stomach.

“Finn. I didn't think I’d see you ever again,” Clarke said in a pleasant enough voice.

Finn was clearly shaken by the situation, he’d only barely noticed Bellamy standing there, holding Clarke’s hand. “You two…are together?”

Clarke nodded, lifting an eyebrow coldly.

“And you’re pregnant…”

“It’s yours.” Clarke said stiffly. “I wasn't lying.”

“Holy shit.” Finn downed the rest of his drink, hands shaking slightly.

“Well, this has been fun,” Clarke said, starting to make an exit, but Finn extended a hand almost touching her arm. Bellamy’s nostrils flared, and Finn reflexively took a small step back.

Clarke’s grasp on Bellamy’s hand tightened. “Do you mind? I’m just trying to enjoy a nice night out with my boyfriend.”

“You can’t be serious!” Finn said. “Your boyfriend? You’re having my kid and dating _this_ guy?”

Bellamy felt his hackles continue to rise, but he waited, knowing Clarke was fully capable of handling herself.

“If my memory serves, Finn,” Clarke returned, one hand placed protectively over her stomach, “You had no interest in acknowledging your role in this pregnancy, let alone being part of it.”

And with that she swept past him, Bellamy at her side.

When they’d reached their seats again, Bellamy waited a moment before asking, “You’re sure you’re alright? We can go now, really, I don't mind.”

“I’m determined not to let him negatively effect any part of my life ever again,” Clarke replied fiercely. “We can talk about that later, now let’s just have a good time.”

There was no arguing with that. Bellamy glanced down at Clarke so often during the second half of the play that she gave him a look that meant ‘I’m fine, please stop worrying.’ He tried to keep his glances more subtle from that point on.

“It wasn’t seeing him again, or even the way he looked at you,” Clarke confessed on the car ride home. “It was the fact that he was so sure I wouldn't carry the pregnancy to term without his support. He really thought without him I wouldn't be strong enough, or wouldn't have an interest. If he even believed me in the first place.”

“He’s an asshole,” Bellamy agreed vehemently. “I really wish we hadn't run into him, I'm sorry.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m glad he got to see me happy and fine without him. I’m better off than I ever have been. And there’s no denying he was very jealous of you.”

“I don’t get it,” Bellamy shook his head. “He could have tried to be with you if he really wanted.”

“He didn't want that. He doesn't want…this.” Clarke gestured to her baby bump. “He didn't want to be inconvenienced by me or my kid making demands on him. But he doesn't want me with you, either.”

“I didn't think he ever cared much for me,” Bellamy admitted.

“It’s strange, he was always jealous of you even while he and I were together, yet I haven't seen any jealousy from you.”

Bellamy cleared his throat. “If I’m being honest…I’m a little jealous. I’m sorry, I feel like an asshole. But at the end of the day, it’s his kid.”

Clarke bit her lip. “At the end of the day, it’s mine and my partner’s. You’ve been more of a partner to me since I've known you than Finn has at any point, especially now. Try to see that.”

“I’m sorry—“

“Don’t be.” Clarke kissed him. “I’m glad you were honest with me.”

Bellamy silently berated himself for being so caught up in his own feelings when he should have been concerned with Clarke’s. He was trying, but he had to try harder.

Things became a bit more complicated a week later. Bellamy was making dinner when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Clarke called from the bedroom, and he heard her open the door.

Silence fell, then he heard her cursing under her breath.

“Hey, what is it?” Bellamy hurried into the other room. Clarke was holding a large envelope.

“You’re going to want to see this.” Clarke said in a strained voice.

Bellamy was at her side in an instant. Her eyes met his, and they were full of anger.

“I’ve been served.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Bellamy snatched the papers she extended to him.

“Finn’s suing me.”

“Suing you?”

“For a prenatal paternity test.”

"Why the hell would he do that?"

"Two possible reasons. Either he still thinks I'm lying, or he thinks I'm telling the truth and he intends to file for custody."

Bellamy shook his head in disbelief. "Holy shit. What a fucking asshole."

Clarke sank down on the couch and Bellamy joined her.

"I'd rather it was the former," she continued. "But I'm pretty sure it's the latter."

"Ok. What are we going to do?"

Clarke slipped one hand into his, and laid the other over her stomach. Her face was as determined as he'd ever seen it. "Lawyer up and fight the hell back."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know nothing about franchising or family law so aspects of the plot may be wildly incorrect at this point. Hope you enjoy anyway :)


	4. Not Going Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy consult with Roan about their legal options. Later, Bellamy receives a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a few changes to the previous chapter since I realized Clarke's pregnancy timeline didn't line up with the edits I'd made to the general timeline. If you're not planning on re-reading: Clarke's having a girl!

“You alright?” Lincoln asked, setting the hammer down. “You seem a little…preoccupied.”

He and Bellamy were hanging his art in the cafe after closing, preparing for a gallery show the next day. It was less than 24 hours since Clarke had received her summons, and Bellamy hadn't been able to stop thinking of it.

“It’s this thing, with Clarke’s ex…”

“Finn?” Lincoln asked quickly.

Bellamy had forgotten that Lincoln probably knew Finn better than he did. The whole story came out, Lincoln shaking his head the whole time.

“He’s unbelievable…I can’t believe he’s putting Clarke through this. How’s she holding up?”

“Fine, for now,” Bellamy sighed. “I mean, she’s pissed as hell, but she’s ok. We’re trying to find a lawyer now.”

“What about Roan?”

Bellamy frowned. “Your tenant? He’s a lawyer?”

“Yeah, I think he practices family law too, though I might be mistaken.” He glanced across the cafe to where Raven was sitting with her laptop. “Hey, Reyes, do you know what kind of Roan practices?”

“Why would Raven know?” Bellamy asked.

“Because we’ve been sleeping together for the past couple weeks,” Raven said casually, closing her computer. “He mostly handles divorces, but he can probably help you out.”

“I don’t know, Raven…you really think a guy who’s living in their basement will be a competent attorney?”

Raven smirked and walked over to join them. “If you must know, he’s actually working on setting up his own practice. He cut ties with his family’s firm and has been saving money by renting that room until he finds a more permanent place. But he’s got an office set up on West Street already.”

“An office, you say?” Lincoln asked cheekily. “And what cause would you have to be there?”

Raven grinned. “Oh, you know, just my routine legal troubles. He’s the one who recommended our lawyer to me, Bellamy.” Raven was referring to Echo, the woman they’d hired to protect them during the franchising process.

“Well…I guess it can’t hurt to give him a call,” Bellamy admitted.

“I’ll set it up,” Raven offered. “I’ve been texting with Clarke and I think she’d appreciate it.”

“Thanks, I’m sure she would. It’s been…stressful.”

Raven leaned over and ruffled his hair. “You doing ok there, papa bear?”

Bellamy smiled ruefully. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“How about we don't worry about anyone? Let’s get these paintings hung, then let’s get you a lawyer and work on kicking Finn’s ass.”

Bellamy grinned. A friend like Raven Reyes could never be undervalued especially in such trying times.

They met with Roan at his new practice the following day. There were a few offices, a tiny conference room, and no one at the front desk when they arrived.

“Right on time.” Roan poked his head out of his office. “Come on in.”

“Apologies for the state of things here, we’re not quite officially open for business, though of course I don't mind taking you two on,” he began, when they were all seated. “Clarke has filled me in on the situation over the phone. Do you have a copy of the papers?”

“No, but I have the original with me.” Clarke fished it out of her bag.

“I understand that you think the father is attempting to gain custody of the child once it’s born?”

“That’s what I’m concerned about,” Clarke replied, glancing up at Bellamy. “Either that, or he’s worried I’m going to ask for child support.”

“And are you?”

“No,” Clarke replied definitively. “Based on his behavior so far, I don’t want him involved at all. And I don't need his financial support either.”

Bellamy felt more at ease suddenly.

“I see. Well, there are a few ways of proceeding, depending on what he’s looking for. I’d recommend you take the test, so that we can move forward.”

“Is it safe?” Bellamy asked, speaking for the first time since they’d arrived. Clarke squeezed his hand.

“Perfectly, as far as I understand it,” Roan answered, leaning back in his chair. “Your girlfriend would know better than I would, though.” Bellamy couldn't help but think there was a hint of levity in the way he said the word ‘girlfriend.’

“It’s absolutely safe,” Clarke reassured him. “Just a simple blood test. It won’t take long at all.” She turned back to Roan. “So we send it to the lab, and he does the same, and after we get the results, then what?”

“Then we can figure out what his real game is,” Roan answered, clasping his hands. “I think that what comes next will be the real concern here.”

Clarke nodded. Bellamy felt the tension rising in his chest again. “You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked.

“It’s the only choice,” Clarke said simply.

Bellamy knew she was right, but wished she wasn’t.

—

“You’re worrying again,” Raven said matter of factly. They were hosting Lincoln’s show at the cafe that night, and though the room was packed with guests, Bellamy felt supremely alone. Clarke had been too tired to attend, and was home resting.

“Can’t help it,” he replied, taking a sip of his beer.

“What’s going on? Is it the shit with Finn?”

“You guessed it,” Bellamy murmured.

“Yeah, he sucks,” Raven sighed. “What’s getting you? You seem a little trapped in your own head lately, if I’m being honest.”

Bellamy shrugged. “Just…everything. I can’t help but think that if he wasn’t being such an ass Clarke would probably want to be with him, not me. I mean, he’s the father of her kid. We’re about to have hard evidence of that.”

“You think that’s going to change anything?” Raven asked incredulously. “No, seriously, Bellamy. You think Clarke isn’t incredibly lucky to have you in her life, now more than ever? You think her kid isn’t going to be the luckiest kid ever to have you as a dad?”

“I’m not—“

“Bullshit,” Raven spat, so loudly that a few nearby guests turned their way. She continued in a lower tone of voice. “You are more a father to that kid already than Finn ever could be on a good day. Blood doesn't define family. Love does. And Clarke loves you."

Bellamy didn't reply. Raven just shook her head. "My parents were shit, but I had the Sinclairs looking out for me. They were my family growing up. And you, and Clarke, and Monty…you’re my family now. You’re doing just fine, Bellamy. Be the dad you wish you had to this kid. You deserved so much better your whole life, and you’re getting it now. Don’t you dare try to talk yourself out of happiness. I won’t let you.”

Bellamy felt the tears pricking at his eyes, and he smiled slightly. “Thanks, Raven.”

“Don’t mention it,” Raven replied lightly, but a fire still burned behind her eyes. He had no doubt that she’d meant every word she’d said as he wrapped her up in a warm hug.

“You should go home,” Raven said. “Talk with Clarke. I can hold down the fort here.”

Clarke was reading a book on the couch when he got home. She was wearing one of his t-shirts and had a blanket draped over her lap.

Bellamy melted onto the couch next to her, sliding an arm around her shoulders and resting a hand on her belly.

“You’re going to completely stretch this shirt out.”

“Rude!” retorted Clarke. “It’s only because I’m starting to be the size of a house and I don’t really feel like shopping for new clothes in this state.”

“You’re beautiful. And I like it when you wear my clothes, for the record.” Bellamy kissed her gently.

“You’re awfully affectionate tonight.” Clarke rested her head on his shoulder. “Good party?”

“Great party.” Bellamy ran a hand over her hair. “Lincoln sold a few pieces already when I left. Raven is going to close up for me—“

“Oh my god…” Clarke sat up suddenly and cradled her stomach with both hands.

Bellamy's entire body tensed. “Everything alright?”

“I think the baby just kicked!”

“That’s good, right?"

“It’s really good,” Clarke laughed. “I was feeling like it was never going to happen…” she grabbed his hands and moved them to the spot where she’d last felt it. Bellamy waited, then he felt it too…a slight flutter, like a gentle muscle spasm.

Clarke was smiling widely. “The baby likes the sound of your voice.”

Bellamy grinned. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Clarke returned, then her brow furrowed slightly. “You ok? You’ve seemed a little…I don’t know, preoccupied lately.”

“Never better,” Bellamy replied, kissing her again. 

“I'm glad you're home,” Clarke sighed.

“I'm glad I'm home too. You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

Clarke pulled him into a hug. “I know. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you.”

Bellamy pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re amazing. You deserve the world.”

Clarke looked up at him. “I don’t want the world. I just want you.”

“That’s good, I can’t deliver on the rest of it.”

Clarke smirked. “Ah, don’t sell yourself short.”

—

The results of the paternity test came back the next day, confirming what had already been known. Roan advised that they wait and see what action Finn would take next before making a move, though he was ready to file a restraining order and a suit for sole custody the moment he needed to.

They didn't hear anything from Finn or his lawyers for the next few weeks, and life almost returned to normal. Or, as normal as it could be. Clarke was seven months pregnant now, and she had abandoned the pretense that she was still living with Wells, having fully moved into Bellamy’s apartment. Their lives were so intertwined now that Bellamy had no doubt parenthood was imminent for him as well as Clarke. 

While Clarke was at work one day, Bellamy cleared out Octavia’s old bedroom, moving all his books to the living room, and began to paint. He’d just finished the second coat of a light dove grey (much softer than the bright neon purple Octavia had painted her room in high school) when Clarke got home.

“Hey, what are you doing in here…” she called curiously from the living room, then stopped dead in the doorway to the bedroom.

Bellamy set his paintbrush down nervously and hopped up to fully open the window. “You can’t come in here, paint fumes…”

Clarke held a hand over her mouth, and for a moment he couldn't tell if she was happy or upset. Then she reached for him, eyes full of tears. “Fucking hormones. You didn't have to do this…”

“I don’t think anyone other than Octavia could actually manage to sleep in a room that bright,” Bellamy said jokingly, wrapping his arms round her. “If you hate the color, I’ll paint over it, just say the word.”

“It’s perfect, Bell. Thank you.”

“Well, your mom had a crib delivered earlier today, so I figured we needed a place to put it.”

“That was nice of her,” Clarke yawned.

“Come on, bed time.”

“What? No! I want to help you decorate!”

“Absolutely not,” said Bellamy sternly. “You’re exhausted and besides, we have nothing to decorate with until after the baby shower on Saturday.”

“Alright,” Clarke sighed. “But I can’t let you do all the work, I’m the one who’s supposed to be nesting, not you.”

“Yeah? Watch me.”

—

Abby hosted the baby shower at Wells’ house. The gifts barely fit in Bellamy’s car on the way back to the apartment, much to Clarke’s annoyance.

“Who on earth needs half this stuff? A diaper genie? A wipe warmer?”

Bellamy chuckled. “Thank god for gift receipts. And at least no one brought unnecessarily gendered shit.”

“Only because I refused to let my mom tell anyone we’re having a girl,” Clarke shot back, half amused and half annoyed.

Bellamy smiled. _We. We’re_ having a girl. He liked it when she said that.

It was sure to take him several trips to bring everything back to their apartment, so he just took the leftover food Abby had sent them with and helped Clarke upstairs. He was not expecting to see someone sitting on their front doorstep when they got there.

It was a slim woman with dark hair, an oversized jacket, and torn jeans--not dressed nearly warm enough against the winter chill. She was thinner than the last time he had seen her, and she was wearing less makeup, but it was definitely his sister.

"Octavia..." Bellamy was stunned. He hadn't heard from her on months.  

“Holy shit...” Octavia rose slowly to her feet, eyes darting between him and Clarke. She had clearly not been expecting to see anyone with him, let alone an obviously pregnant Clarke Griffin. “Wow. What the fuck, Bellamy?” Her voice was on the verge of breaking.

“Hi, Octavia,” Clarke said gently, her hand steady on Bellamy’s arm. “How long have you been here?”

“Um, about an hour. Didn’t realized he’d changed the locks.” Octavia’s eyes were bright with tears. “How long have _you_ been here?”

“That’s not necessary, Octavia,” Bellamy cut in, fishing his keys and opening the front door. Clarke entered first. Bellamy gestured for Octavia to follow her.

His sister shook her head, but she listened. For once in her life.

Octavia just stood in the middle of the living room, staring. Clarke took a seat on the couch and Bellamy watched his sister, arms folded.

“So…ummm…you’re with Clarke now? And you’re having a kid? Did you get married too? How much did I miss?”

“We’re not married, O,” Bellamy replied gruffly, glancing at Clarke who seemed to be taking this all in stride. “And yes, I’m with Clarke, but…”

“It’s not his baby,” Clarke cut in, with a pained glance up at Bellamy. “I mean, it is in every sense that matters to me, but…”

“I’m not the father.”

Octavia turned on Clarke. “So, you got knocked up and the dad didn't want you so you came running back to my brother?”

Bellamy clenched his jaw. “That’s enough, Octavia.”

“It’s fine,” Clarke said to Bellamy in an even tone. Turning back to Octavia, “Yeah, that’s pretty much it, except for the part where I love your brother and he loves me and it’s none of your business, honestly. I’m sorry this is hurtful, I wouldn't have wanted you to find out this way either. But you haven't called him back in months. What was he supposed to do, not go on with his life?”

Octavia collapsed onto the couch, head in her hands. “What the fuck is happening…”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. He was over the initial shock of seeing his sister for the first time in over a year. Now he was just pissed that she showed up unannounced with an attitude. Not that he should have expected anything else.

“Octavia, I’m sorry you found out like this, I really am, but Clarke’s right…you didn't call me back and you didn't have time for me. That’s why you’re finding out this way. If it were up to me, I would have told you myself as soon as we got together. But you didn't give me that option.”

Octavia looked up at him, and he could see the fight she was having with herself.

“Ok, well…this sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. Just like me not knowing where you were or whether you were ok for the past year. I didn't like it, but that was your choice. Just like this is my choice now.”

Octavia looked over at Clarke. “Who’s the father?”

“Octavia, settle down,” Bellamy said sternly, taking a seat beside Clarke. “You don’t have to tell her anything if you don’t want to. She’s being completely unreasonable right now.”

Clarke glanced over at him with a small smile. “Thanks, but I don't mind. Will you get me a glass of water, actually?”

Bellamy pressed a kiss to her forehead and walked to the kitchen. He could hear Clarke’s voice from the other room.

“I’m going to tell you, not because you have a right to know, but because I understand how frustrating this must be for you.”

“Suit yourself."

Bellamy rolled his eyes at his sister and opened the fridge.

“It’s an ex of mine,” Clarke continued. “We weren't together when it happened, as a couple I mean…this was unplanned. I had no interest in pursuing a future with the father, and he had no interest in supporting me, so we parted ways. Bellamy and I reconnected just before I realized I was pregnant. I can see how this looks to you, but you have to trust me and trust your brother that we know what we’re doing.”

“Sure. So why did you keep it?”

Bellamy clenched his jaw and collected himself before returning to Clarke’s side.

“I wondered if I would.” Clarke replied, “I was really angry with myself for sleeping with my ex in the first place. But I was in a bad place, and I’d been drinking. He showed up, and he flattered me, and I didn't buy it but I wanted to…I really wanted to. I wanted to be that girl again, the one he used to know, the hopeful one. And of course sleeping with him didn't help. But when I found out I was pregnant, after the initial shock, I don't know…it just clicked for me.” Clarke took a sip of her water and shrugged. “The timing was bad, and the guy was wrong, but I wanted the kid. And I wanted to be with Bellamy, too.” She looked up at him, and the clarity in her eyes calmed him.

He squeezed her hand, then looked back at his sister. “This is my family now, O. You can take it or leave it. I’d rather you want to be a part of it too, but I know that’s asking a lot of you right now.”

Octavia sighed deeply, digging her fingers into the couch cushions. “I’m sorry…I know I’m reacting badly. And I know I don’t have much ground to stand on…it’s been shit, lately, Bell. I don’t feel good about myself, with myself. Things have been hard.”

She didn't look well, Bellamy thought. The bags under her eyes were more pronounced. She seemed even more lost than before, and it was hard to watch. He would have given anything for her just to be happy for him, but that seemed like a wild fantasy at this point.

“Octavia, I’m sorry, I really am. You shouldn't have had to find out this way.”

“I shouldn't have left the way I did,” Octavia said hollowly.

“I’m going to let you two catch up now,” Clarke murmured and eased herself off the couch.

The second she closed the bedroom door, Octavia burst into tears. The whole story of the last year came out in pieces. She’d lived in ten different places in six different cities, each time she thought it was going to be better, going to be different, but each place, each person let her down.

“I didn't belong here, and I don't seem to belong anywhere else. I don't know what’s wrong with me, but I'm so tired.”

“You’re ok, O. I’m sorry you didn't feel at home here, with me—“

“It wasn't you, Bell. It’s me, I’m too fucked up. I can’t put you through more of my shit, it’s not fair to you.” Octavia wiped the tears from her face. “I mean, look at you. You’ve got your life together. You’re about to have a kid.” Another tear spilled over onto her cheek. “I’m going to stay away. You don’t deserve to be stuck with me, and neither does your family.”

The tears stung at Bellamy’s eyes now. “I wish you didn't think that way.”

She shrugged. “It’s not your fault I'm a mess.” She sighed and her eyes lingered on the door to her old room. “Mind if I crash here tonight?”  
“Of course not, but…”

Octavia searched his face. “I’ll fuck off if you want me to, just tell me.”

“It’s not that. It’s just, that’t not your room anymore.”

Octavia rose to her feet and gently opened the door to the second bedroom. She paused in the door frame, and Bellamy stood, expecting an outburst at any moment. When she turned back to him, there was an odd expression on her face. It seemed almost peaceful.

She didn't say anything at first, just hugged him close. Finally, she murmured, ”This kid is lucky to have you, Bell. I’ll crash on the couch, ok?”

She was gone before morning. Bellamy got up to check on her at 5:00am, and saw that she’d left the blankets folded on one end of the couch. There was a hand-written note sitting on the coffee table.

 _Bell,_  
_I’m off to stay with a friend in Asheville. Call me when the kid’s born, please. I promise I’ll pick up._  
_Love,_  
_O_

Bellamy crept back into bed, where Clarke was finally sleeping soundly after a night of tossing and turning. These moments of rest, he knew, were very important this late in the pregnancy, so he did his best not to wake her as he gently settled in next to her. He had to be at work in an hour, but for now he was going to take all the time he could to just be. His heart ached for his sister, but he was glad she finally knew. Clarke was his world now. It felt good to share that with her. Things were as close to perfect as they ever had been, which was more than he'd ever imagined for himself.

—

“Hey, I don't know about this new scone recipe,” Murphy said dubiously, holding a baking tray under Bellamy’s nose.

“They do look a little brown,” Bellamy admitted. “Did you overbake them, or do you think it’s the cream?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going back to my old recipe. This one’s shit.”

“Ok,” Bellamy sighed. “You’re the baker.” He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. “Hey, this might be the lawyers, I’ve gotta take this. Let Raven know we’re going back to the old recipe ok?”

Murphy ducked out of the office and closed the door behind him.

“Bellamy Blake here.”

“Bellamy, it’s Wells.”

“Wells…”

“Before you ask, Clarke’s fine…but can you get down here right away?”

“What’s going on, is Clarke in labor?”

“No, just get down here right away, ok?”

Bellamy was already on his way out the door, leaving his coat and scarf behind without a second thought.


	5. Not Your Average Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy rushes down to the hospital. Clarke gets a surprising bit of news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a million years! I hope you enjoy, I've really loved talking with y'all while writing this fic and truly appreciate every kind word!

Wells was waiting for Bellamy in the hospital lobby when he arrived. 

“What happened?”

“Clarke’s fine,” Wells repeated in a steadying voice, leading him towards the elevator.

“And the baby?”

“Also fine. It’s Finn.”

Bellamy’s anger reached its boiling point in the space of a second. 

“What did he do?”

“He showed up here…I honestly don't know what he wants.” Wells pressed a button on the panel and the doors closed. “Clarke didn't want to talk to him, and your lawyer’s in court right now, so I called you…”

“I want to see Clarke.”

“I’m taking you to her, Bellamy. Finn’s stowed away in Conference Room C for the time being.” Wells paused, eyes flickering over Bellamy’s face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you’re going to talk to Clarke you need to calm down. No need to upset her further.”

Bellamy bit his lip and exhaled. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, man…this is all pretty upsetting. But Clarke could use you at your most level headed right now.”

Bellamy smiled sheepishly as Wells clapped him on the shoulder. 

“She’s right in there.” Wells pointed at a room down the hall. “I need to run a few test results for her, I’ll give you two a minute.”

Clarke was sitting on a hospital bed in her scrubs and sneakers, playing with her phone. When she saw Bellamy, her face flooded with relief. 

“I’m sorry to to make you leave work—“

“It’s fine—“

“I didn't realize Wells was calling you, but when I realized Roan was in court I was glad—“

“I’m just glad you’re ok, both of you.” 

Bellamy pressed a kiss to Clarke’s temple, one hand resting gently on her bump and the other stroking her hair. 

“Full disclosure, I was having some Braxton Hicks contractions earlier…” Clarke said, with the air of admitting a guilty secret. “But don’t worry, they’re very common in the third trimester.”

“You’re sure they’re not real?”

Clarke pinched the shoulder of her scrubs with her thumb and forefinger, an expression of fond annoyance on her face. “Doctor, remember?”

Bellamy smirked. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Mhmmm….”

“So, you don't know why Finn is here?”

“Nope. He just showed up in the middle of my shift, and I was too busy to deal with him, then I started having the Braxton Hicks, and Wells made me come in here until he could run some tests. I think I may have been on my feet a bit too much lately.”

Bellamy didn't say a word, just pursed his lips and stared out the window. 

“I know, I know. I promise I won’t overdo it any more. I’m too tired, anyway.”

“We’ll get you home. I’m going to go find Finn. I figure out what he wants, and come right back. Ok?”

“Thank you.” Clarke squeezed his hand. 

Finn was in an empty conference room at the end of the hall. Bellamy noticed that he seemed somewhat distressed to see him instead of Clarke, which to be honest was sort of the reaction he was looking for. 

“Bellamy…is Clarke alright?”

“She’s fine,” Bellamy replied stiffly, taking a seat at the other end of the table. “She doesn't want to see you, Finn.”

“I don’t blame her,” Finn replied miserably, running a hand through his hair. 

Bellamy laced his fingers together and leaned forward. “Neither do I.”

Finn looked sufficiently embarrassed. 

“Why are you here, Finn?”

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn't be here, and I should have called—“

“Why are you here?” Bellamy repeated.

“I wanted to tell Clarke I’ve dropped the suit.”

Bellamy did his best to hide his surprise. 

“I should never have gotten lawyers involved, it was stupid and petty of me. I wanted to hurt her…” Finn glanced up, making eye contact with Bellamy. “It hurt to see you with her, honestly. To see what I could have had, maybe, if I hadn't been such an idiot when she told me. I can’t help but think I could have made her happy.”

“Probably not,” replied Bellamy without thinking. 

The words hung in the room for a moment, Bellamy wondering if he’d just set fire to the spark. Suddenly, Finn laughed, rueful but not completely without humor. 

“You might be right, but you’re an ass, you know that?”

Bellamy bristled slightly, but laughed despite himself. “Yeah, I know.”

Finn sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Fuck. Anyway, I know she doesn't want to see me, but can you give her a message for me?”

“I can do that.”

“Tell her I’ll wait for her to determine the terms of my contact with the kid.”

“I’ll tell her that.” Bellamy stood up. “Is that all?”

“Look,” Finn extended one hand in a last desperate attempt to make his case, “I know I don't deserve anything, but I’d like to think she can allow me some type of relationship.”

Bellamy had nothing to say to that, he just turned towards the door.

“Is is a boy or a girl?”

Bellamy paused, hand on the door handle. “It’s a girl.”

“Thanks.”

Bellamy glanced back at Finn. He genuinely looked moved. Bellamy nodded, and walked away.

“I can’t believe it,” Clarke said, when Bellamy filled her in on his conversation with Finn. “He’s really dropping the suit…this whole nightmare is over.”

“I can hardly believe it too, but he did seem sincere.”

“I don’t know what to do about the rest of it…the custody thing, I mean.”

“We’ll talk to Roan, if you want. You can set terms you’re comfortable with.”

“Terms we’re comfortable with,” Clarke corrected him gently. 

“Yeah.” Bellamy smiled. “We.”

Clarke sighed and leaned back against the pillows. “What a day. I’m ready for bed.”

“In that case, I have good news and bad news.” Wells had appeared in the doorway. “Mind if I come in?”

“Of course not.” Clarke’s brow was furrowed as she invited him in. “What do you mean by bad news?” 

“Well, the good news is you can go home and go to bed. The bad news is that’s pretty much all you can do for the next few weeks.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked. “Is Nyko taking me off the schedule or something?”

“He didn’t have a choice after I showed him your test results.” Wells handed Clarke her chart. “You’ve got preeclampsia, Clarke. You need to start your maternity leave now. You’ve been too stressed here the last few weeks, and I know you wanted to keep working but it’s just not advisable.”

Bellamy watched Clarke read through her chart, chewing on her lip the whole time. 

“Fine, fine. You’re right.”

Bellamy sighed. He was glad this wasn't going to be an argument. 

“Good.” The ghost of a smile appeared on Wells’ harried face. “I didn’t want to have to call Abby.”

Clarke glared up at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Well, now I don’t have to….but you should. She’ll want to help out.”

Clarke sighed. “You’re right.” She glanced over at Bellamy. “Let’s go home, I guess.”

Wells held up a finger. “One minute. I know that you know how to handle it, Clarke, but I’m going to fill Bellamy in so you don’t have to. He’s about to pass out from stress, if you can’t tell.”

Clarke reached for Bellamy’s hand. “I’m sorry, please don’t worry.”

“I’m trying,” Bellamy replied, “But he’s not wrong.”

“See?” Wells teased Clarke with his stethoscope. “Doctor. Let me work here.”

Clarke snorted and laid back while Wells ran Bellamy through all the things he needed to do and look out for while Clarke finished out the pregnancy.

“She needs to take it easy, but mild exercise is going to be important. Nothing too stressful, we just want to avoid blood clots. The only real treatment is delivery, but at 37 weeks we’re still a little early for that. If she gets rest and stays healthy we’ll get a little closer to the due date before real labor. I’m going to ask that she comes in for a check up every two days—“

Clarke sighed.

“Two days, yes,” Wells repeated, and turned his attention back to Bellamy. “And we might recommend inducing labor in a week or so. I know that’s not what you prefer, Clarke, but this sort of thing throws birth plans out the window.”

“Our daughter is already testing my patience,” Clarke said, smiling ruefully up at Bellamy.

Bellamy grinned widely. “Yeah, I know. Come on, you can call your mom from the car.”

—

“I can’t believe a month ago I thought it wasn't possible for me to feel any more huge,” Clarke sighed.

She was propped up in bed five days into her maternity leave, rubbing cocoa butter on her stretch marks while Bellamy flipped through a baby name book and read selections.

“You look beautiful,” he offered, setting the book on his lap to lean over and kiss her cheek.

Clarke grimaced. “Liar. Now let’s get back to it, I’m determined to name this kid before she comes out, and I’d really like that to be soon.”

“Alright, let’s go alphabetical. How about Althea?”

“Nope.”

“Brenna.”

“No.”

“Chloe.”

Clarke frowned for a moment, then shook her head. 

“Daphne.”

“Absolutely not.”

Bellamy chuckled. “You sure have a lot of strong opinions for someone with nothing to offer to this conversation.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow and gestured dramatically to her abdomen. “Nothing to offer, huh?”

Bellamy bit his lip and buried his nose in the book. “Forget I said that. Eloise?”

“Nope.”

“Fiona.”

“Uh-uh.”

“Gabrielle.”

“No.”

“Helena.”

“Really? Give me that.” 

Clarke snatched the book from him, rolling her eyes. Bellamy chuckled and leaned back on his elbow, watching her as she flipped through page after irritating page. 

“I give up,” she said finally, tossing the book aside with a sigh. She rested her hands on her belly and turned to him. “Are we bad parents for not figuring this out sooner?”

“Of course not.” Bellamy smoothed her hair back. “She’ll have a name sooner or later.”

“I’d rather it be sooner.” Clarke grimaced and leaned forward slightly.

“More Braxton Hicks?” Bellamy asked, trying to hide his concern.

Clarke nodded. 

“You feeling ok otherwise?”

“My back is hurting pretty bad, but that’s not new. I think I need to lay down.”

Bellamy helped her shift so that she was on her side just as the doorbell rang. 

“That must be Raven.” He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be right outside, if you need anything just call.”

Raven was dragging an absurdly large cooler which Bellamy promptly took from her. 

“What the hell’s all this?”

“It’s from Murphy. He made a bunch of meals you can keep in the freezer for after the baby’s born but he refused to bring them by himself.” Raven rolled her eyes. “He’s an idiot.”

“Wow, that’s surprisingly thoughtful of him.” Bellamy set the cooler in the kitchen and joined Raven in the living room. “How’s the shop doing?”

“We’re fine, we’ve had some busy days but Monty’s been helping out on the floor and Jasper’s really stepped it up. I think he's going to ask us for a raise when you’re back to work.”

Bellamy smiled. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

“Mhmm. How’s Clarke doing?”

“Fine. She’s resting. Ready to not be pregnant any more.”

“And how are you, papa bear?”

“I’m fine.” 

“Roan filled me in on the suit…Finn really backed off, huh?”

Bellamy nodded. 

“Wow, that’s…surprisingly. Better late than never, I guess. I’m glad he did.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty relieved.” Bellamy paused. “Hey, Raven, I want to run something by you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“I was thinking about returning just part time, when I come back to work.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I know Clarke is probably going to want to go back to work pretty soon, and I was looking into daycare options, but everything is pretty expensive…and we talked about both going back to work part time so we can stay home part time, and I think it could work for us. I’d make sure we’re staffed well at the cafe, of course, and I can work on payroll and stuff like that from home. It could work…but only if you’re ok with it.”

Raven’s face broke out into a huge grin. “Wow, you’re really owning this whole dad thing, huh? Yeah, I think that sounds great.”

Bellamy grinned. “Thanks, Raven.”

“I’m proud of you. You’re gonna be a great dad.”

Before Bellamy could reply, he heard Clarke calling him from the bedroom. He shot up so quickly he banged his knee on the coffee table. 

Clarke was sitting up, hands splayed over her stomach, eyes wide. Bellamy was at her side in an instant.

“What’s wrong, what’s happening?”

“Ok, I’m gonna need you to take it down two notches.” Clarke took a deep breath, gripping the collar of his shirt to steady herself. “My water just broke. Time to go to the hospital.”

“Ok. Hospital. We’ve got this.” Bellamy could barely breathe, but somehow managed to help Clarke get to her feet and find a fresh pair of leggings.

“Everything ok in there, kids?” Raven called from the living room.

“Fine,” Clarke huffed. “Nothing a little childbirth won’t fix.”

“Holy shit.”

Bellamy grabbed Clarke’s bag, which she’d had packed for weeks now, and helped her towards the door. Raven was already waiting there with Bellamy’s keys. 

“I’m driving. You have the carseat, right?”

Bellamy panicked momentarily, but then remembered Raven had helped him put it together at work one day and it was in fact in the back of his car. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“I put those meals in the freezer,” Raven said, as she led the way to Bellamy’s car. “My timing is impeccable, I have to say.”

—-

Bellamy paced in the hall, staring at his phone, then took a deep breath and dialed.

“You’ve reached Octavia Blake. Leave a message, and if you’re lucky I might call you back.”

“Hey, O.” 

Bellamy took a seat, ran a hand through his hair, then promptly stood up and began to pace again. 

“I hope you’re doing well. I’m calling because Clarke had the baby.” 

He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care.

“We’re naming her Hope. She’s beautiful, O. She’s got Clarke’s eyes, and hair and nose.” Bellamy’s voice broke slightly. “I’d really love for you to come home and meet her. Give me a call when you have a minute, ok? I love you.”

He pocketed his cell phone and ran a hand over his eyes, then returned to Clarke’s side. 

She was plainly exhausted, but she’d never looked happier than she did in that moment, holding her sleeping daughter close. 

Bellamy’s heart swelled as he wiped the cold sweat from her brow and kissed her, then Hope. 

“Wells called my mom and Marcus. They’ll be in town by tonight.” Her eyes flickered over Bellamy’s face, trying to read his expression. “Octavia didn't pick up.”

He shook his head. “No. She might just be busy. I left her a voicemail.”

“Ok. That’s good. I’m sure she’ll call back.”

Bellamy met her eyes, and the warmth and happiness there grounded him. “Yeah. I’m sure she will.”

Clarke smiled. “Take her for a minute?”

Bellamy welcomed their daughter into his cradled arms, and Clarke beamed up at him. 

“You look good like that.”

Bellamy grinned. “I always look good.”

“There’s that trademark Blake confidence.” Clarke bit back a smile. “Yeah, you do.”

—

8 Years Later…

 

“Hey,” Clarke kissed Bellamy on the cheek as she set her purse down. “Sorry I missed bedtime.”

“Don’t worry about it. How was work?” 

He uncovered a plate of leftover stir fry and handed her a glass of wine.

“It was fine.” Clarke reached for his hand across the kitchen island. “Nyko wants me to go for the teaching position.”

Bellamy squeezed her hand back. “That’s great, Clarke!”

“Yeah, it is…” Clarke took a sip of her wine. “But it’s a big commitment. Definitely something to talk about.”

“So let’s talk about it.” Bellamy leaned over the island and nudged Clarke with her own fork. “Eat. What are your pros and cons?”

“Well, the pros are obvious. It’s the cons I’m worried about…less time with you, less time with the kids.”

“We’ll be ok. It’s not permanent. And the kids are fine…Hope is at the top of her class, Olivia will be in full time kindergarten next year, and Jake is basically my personal assistant.”

Clarke smiled at the thought of their three year old assisting Bellamy around the house.

“Plus,” Bellamy continued cautiously, “Octavia will be back in town by then, and if you’re open to it I know she’d love to help out with the kids.”

Clarke’s face softened. “That would be nice. She hasn't seen Jake since he was a baby…”

“Mhmm. She’s looking forward to spending more time with the girls too.”

“Well, if you’re ok with this promotion then so am I.”

Bellamy smiled. “I think it’s great.”

“There’s just one thing…I ran into Raven today, stopped by for a coffee before work. She said the new stores are doing really well, and it made me realize I haven't heard you talk much about them lately.” Clarke paused to take a bit of her dinner. “You don't want to be more involved?”

“No, not really,” Bellamy shurgged. “Raven and Monty have it handled. Jasper and Echo are great managers, and I can do my part without spending all my free time at the stores. I like my life, stop worrying.”

Clarke furrowed her brow. “I know, I know…but you don't ever regret settling down so quickly?”

Bellamy glanced up curiously. “What do you mean?”

“You know, just that…we started dating, and six months later you were a parent. Not exactly…normal.”

Bellamy laughed. “Nothing about our life has ever been normal. What brought this on?”

“I’ve just been wondering lately, that’s all. Plus, with Jasper and Maya getting married, it kind of made me think. They’re going about things in a more traditional order, to say the least.”

“You know I’m very happy for them, but they’re just doing things a different way than we did. All I ever wanted was a family to love and a partner to share it with, and I got all of that with you. I’ve always considered myself pretty lucky for that.”

Clarke smiled.

“I love our life, Clarke. I love our kids. I love you. I love the fact that we didn't have a church wedding, we went to the courthouse and then threw a raging party at Wells’.”

“Raging for some of us more than others…I was five months pregnant with Liv.”

“True,” Bellamy laughed, but pressed forward sincerely. “I regret nothing from that night, or any other. Our life is weird, and messy, but it’s ours. I wouldn't trade it for anything.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Let’s get working on your application for that teaching position tonight.” 

They were interrupted by two sets of small feet pattering down the stairs. Two curly heads, one blond and one brown, peeked around the corner to the kitchen.

“Dad,” Hope said, “Liv’s scared, can you come read her another story?”

Bellamy shot Clarke an amused look. “Liv’s the only one who’s scared, huh? I’ll be right up.”

The girls retreated back upstairs.

Clarke shook her head. “You already did bath time and first bedtime. I’ve got this one.”

Bellamy kissed her. “I’ll be waiting on the couch with the wine. We can work on your resume and then watch tv until you fall asleep.”

Clarke grinned. “Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [tumblr!](https://tracylorde.tumblr.com)


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